Dating after losing a spouse

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We are all a “work in progress.” Leading with kindness and humility instead of fear accelerates both the healing and learning process. Getting in game shape to love again after a loss, providing the kind of care and feeding that a new or existing relationship needs to survive and/or thrive requires great hope, patience and hard work. Finding love again may be an uneven path, with moments of helplessness, frustration and despair. To the beauty, mystery and mastery of being in a loving relationship.And gets us ready to write new and exciting chapters in our lives. Healing An Existing Relationship After a Loss Some of us are struggling to keep our heads above water in a relationship that has suffered a betrayal, debilitating illness, injury, personal or financial crisis or a death. But healing a struggling relationship can be like being on a roller coaster. Sadness, anger, fear, confusion and grief may present themselves as part of the healing process. And to reaching for the highest and best in ourselves. D., founder of The Jenna Druck Center in San Diego, is a renowned resilience expert, organizational consultant, and award-winning author of several books including, The Real Rules of Life (Hay House). They fall flat on their faces when a “rebound” relationship fails.Getting back into “game shape” for life and love begins with putting your emotional house in order. This means facing our fears, rather than letting them run us, fending off feelings of desperation and panic, allowing ourselves ample time to heal, finding constructive ways to express the anger and sorrow we may feel and keeping the faith that we’ll someday find love again.Explain in precise terms exactly what kind of support you need. This will save you and your team a lot of unnecessary stress, wasted effort and aggravation down the road. Go to Baggage Claim: Take Inventory of What’s Yours Despite our most sincere and ambitious efforts to make a “fresh start” when we meet someone, we bring bits and pieces of the past into new relationships.Unless, that is, we take full responsibility for our part in past failures.This might include simplifying your daily schedule, enrolling the support of trusted family and friends, pampering yourself, lightening your work load and social schedule, exercising regularly, eating well, postponing or cancelling stressful meetings, getting into counseling, taking some time off, etc..

Owning up to the “young,” overly-sensitive, insecure, possessive parts of yourself – and working on them is your best insurance for future success.

And work on making ourselves more relationship proficient.

Clearing the path for a new relationship means claiming your baggage.

Or ashamed that we’re feeling so down in the dumps.

Those of us who tend to self-manage with criticism when we’re down may be tempted to discredit, devalue, judge and even bully ourselves.

Rededicate yourself to healthy, new behavior and relationships. Getting ready to put your heart back on the line and try your hand at love again may require an upgrade in your psychological software. recognize, express and convert to positive action) complex emotions like anger and sorrow, acquiring the tools for clear communication and letting go of the painful past all clear the path for new — or a renewed sense of — intimacy, connection and companionship.

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