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It was a virtually sexless union for 10 years before a therapist helped her come to her senses and move on.

"I don't have a boyfriend," she says, "I have a team roster."Lily and Anna are not our real names, but then you probably knew that was coming.

We were both hungry for intimacy and physical touch after years of wandering in the desert. Lily Penza, 46, had been overweight since her teens and suffered from dangerously low self-esteem.

At age 28, she moved in with the first man who looked her way.

She had read books on women's sexuality -- Barbach, Tisdale, Jong, Hite and Nin -- but each held only a small piece of the puzzle.

Not one of these authors could tell her as much about sexuality as her own inner life did.

Before anybody actually met face to face, Lily dumped Scott and canceled the threesome, but she became e-mail pals with her would-have-been sex partner, Anna.

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