CFL is like a tidal wave of American men in love with Chinese women, with only a rare American woman/Chinese husband surfacing to break the monotony. Several years ago, when my husband enrolled in a New Oriental class in Shanghai for GRE prep, the instructor warned all of the Chinese men: “If you’re going to study abroad, prepare for four lonely years.” The underlying message was, don’t expect to fall in love — but be pleasantly surprised if it happens.
There are hardly enough books depicting foreign women with Chinese boyfriends or husbands. When you have a Chinese husband or boyfriend, sometimes you feel as if you belong to a lonely club. One of my dearest e-mail friends, a woman from Germany, once found me on the net because she had a — then — Chinese boyfriend and yearned to find someone to share her experience with.
those in my age-range) to be aging with her, so that I won't be constantly reminded of the sacrifice I made to be with her - even if it was one I know was worth it.
The grass is already always greener on the other side, and a man doesn't need an age disparity contributing to that effect when his woman starts losing her initial shine.
What follows are my observations from that time in my life.
It’s true — the sight of a foreign woman and Chinese boyfriend or Chinese husband is much rarer than its counterpart, the foreign man and Chinese woman.It tapers out slowly and often quite gracefully - far more slowly than it arises in a girl's late teens.The rate of the decline is obviously affected by her genetics and lifestyle, but it is also largely a function of how willing she is to accept that decline gracefully.Older women are more internally attractive than younger women.Older women have miles more personality than younger women.However, when it came time to cut it off or have a relationship, I cut it off.